I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
