google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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