She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
