I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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