just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
