I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
