wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
