Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
What happened to fro yo and sex?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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