Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
