Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
