it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
