dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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