my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
