I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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