butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
