Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Randomize
