We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
