Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I got inside last night via doggy door
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
