sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
