dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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