Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
