I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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