Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
