Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
