mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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