I'm really into asian looking animals
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
he thought i was a dude.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
