it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I could fuck to npr.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
