My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
