I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Randomize
