I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
