To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Randomize
