I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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