All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
