Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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