I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
