i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Randomize
