At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
