brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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