I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
