hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
