Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I look better un-naked...
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
