would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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