You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
