it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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