the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
