omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I could fuck to npr.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
