if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
