She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
