A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
