She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
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